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Thursday, December 15, 2016

ADC.04

4.Stirrings

'There is a spark within all men that will never be extinguished. We all cling on to the dying embers of childhood long after they are buried in ash. Sometimes the transition from child to adult is instantaneous. For Joel he had to watch helplessly as he saw his childhood slip away' - jp

One morning Joel woke, had toast and jam for breakfast and hurried out the door. A number of boys had already gathered and were playing football. What was a little surprising was the fact a girl was also playing. If that wasn't enough of a shock, she was faring well and getting stuck into tackles. Having a girl join in went against the boyhood code, but the girl's demeanour showed her to be an exception. It still rankled. Jamie broke off from the game and approached Joel.
"Who's that and why is she playing football?" Joel asked a little annoyed.
"That's Jodie and she wanted to play. The other kid is her brother Terry"
"You let her play?" Scott asked equally confused.
"She beat Jake up" Jamie said by way of an explanation and Joel looked at the girl with interest.

Jake had been teasing Jodie's brother who from a distance looked identical. Watching the siblings running around and kicking the ball, it would be an easy mistake thinking Terry was the girl and Jodie the boy.
"Thought we were going to the woods" Joel said still put out by the intrusion.
"We are"
"Is she going?" Joel asked and Jamie shrugged.

With all the boys in attendance they gathered round to discuss what to do and decided to go to the pump-house instead. It was a longer walk but it had been a long time since the last visit, and they could catch eels. If they were really lucky they could tickle a trout or two in Potter's Pond on the way back. As the group walked through the fields to the pump-house Jodie kept close to Joel. He was getting really annoyed this girl was invading his space. What was it with girls that made them so clingy with him. Jodie tried to engage Joel in conversation, even his moody one word replies didn't put her off.

Jamie could see Joel was getting more and more irritable and wasn't his usual self. Joel could be a bit of a joker, but when he was in a mood the group as a whole seemed to lack the spark that made everything fun.
"You should have seen Jodie fight Jake she was awesome" Jamie ventured.

It was exactly the right thing to say. Joel and Jake were arch enemies and whilst Joel always won their battles it was often close because Jake was no pushover. Only Jamie and Ashley of the others could beat Jake consistently. Joel looked at Jodie curiously. She was very similar in stature to Joel yet Jake was much thicker set and a little taller.
"How come?" Joel asked.
"I do judo" Jodie answered proudly.

Now Joel was interested. Both Jodie and Terry had been learning judo for almost three years, the tomboyish Jodie had long since left her brother behind in ability. She was the dominant twin by far but Terry served to keep Jodie in practice.
"I'm a green belt, Terry is orange"
"You're a green aren't you Joel?" Xander asked hearing the conversation.
"Not yet" Joel muttered and Ashley laughed.
"So Jodie can beat you up as well then" he hooted.
"Rubbish! I've only been doing it ten months not three years"
"Best of three?" Jodie suggested, eager to show Joel what she could do.
"You're a girl!" Joel snorted.

Jodie reacted immediately and pulled Joel across her body using a Tai-Otoshi throw. It caught Joel off guard but he reacted well and as he fell, he pulled Jodie down with him. He quickly had the girl in a headlock. She tapped his shoulder and he let her go.
"One to you" Jodie said facing Joel, a determined look on her face.
"I don't fight girls" Joel said and carried on walking.
"You're really good" Jodie said catching up.
"Thanks" Joel said and his tetchiness evaporated.

He had saved face and Jodie had bolstered his ego, looking at him with something akin to admiration. Suddenly Joel was happy to have Jodie walking next to him. He completely forgot she was a girl. Attraction to an eleven year old was so uncomplicated because it wasn't physical, at least not consciously. Jodie made Joel feel strange. He wanted to be near her but was scared of losing credibility with the boys. They might think he was a sissy if he hung around with Jodie too much. Jodie was probably Joel's first crush before he even knew what a crush was.

It would be wrong to think the boys from the village were little cherubs, precariously wobbling forward over the stepping stones of life. Far from it. Perhaps it was the freedom afforded them which made the boys wild, or the severity of punishments at home. Conversely those same factors may have been all that kept the boys in check. There was certainly something primeval about the boys. How many nine, ten, eleven year olds today could fend for themselves and live off the land. The games were soon to change as an insidious new enemy began to stalk the boys. Puberty.

It may still have been some way off to all appearances but the change in the boys, only noticeable in retrospect, had already begun. Joel liked Jodie but didn't know why. After all she was a girl. He wanted her around, mostly, but her presence was a restrictive influence on the boys. The old fashioned chauvinistic attitudes of the village dictated that the fairer sex was weaker and needed gentle treatment. Jodie went some way to discrediting the theory but even so, otherwise boisterous tackles at football and general rough and tumbling were minimal where Jodie was concerned. It was something Jodie hated and quite rightly so. She had earned her right to be with the boys, and could easily have bested many of them in typically male pursuits.

Joel began to visit Jodie at home, but without the other boys knowing of course. Jodie and Terry were as identical as different gender twins could be yet Joel almost ignored Terry on his visits, as much as Terry allowed him to. The twins had striking steel blue eyes with an almost hypnotic quality and Joel often found himself staring into them absent-mindedly. Jodie's parents were different to those of the other boys Joel knew. The father was a vicar who had married their Catholic mother, causing quite a stir among some parents of kids at the Catholic school. The mother made sure Jodie and Terry were baptized, just in case there is a God. Her appearance was how Joel imagined a hippie from a 60's cult would look, and she had similar attitudes.

Jodie and Terry both had to get ready for bed at six o clock, which at ten years old Joel thought was insanely early. He didn't even have to be home until 7:30pm, the time the twins actually had to go to bed. Joel always waited until the last minute to go home so he could watch Jodie changing. She didn't seem to notice Joel's curious stares and she made no attempt to hide herself. On the way home Joel would curse himself for being a freak. Why did Jodie interest him so much?  Joel wanted answers but who could provide them.

The more Joel found out the less he knew. Each answer would give rise to more questions. Joel's feelings towards his friends were mostly consistent, yet it was different with Scott and Jodie. Just being in their presence gave him a lift. Jodie tried to get Joel to sleep over at her house but he refused. The thought of going to bed at 7:30pm was a contributing factor for his refusal, but wasn't the main reason. He would have been ridiculed by his friends for sleeping over with a girl.


* * * * *

The boys were growing fast and the last snow of winter made way for the daffodils of spring as the boys lives careened from one phase to the next. They were soon to leave the comfort zone of the small village schools in which they were big fish in little ponds. The transformation to being little fish in a big pond was for many a shock to the system and quite traumatic. None more so than Joel, but he had no inkling of what lay in store for him right then. 

At least with the other boys they would have some familiar faces around them. The parents of the boys had started treating their little soldiers differently as well. Jodie's mother was an exception. She still molly-coddled the twins, perhaps it was why Terry was so babyish. It didn't explain why Jodie was so tough though. The summer crept up on them and it was to be the most memorable of Joel’s life, if only for being the last real summer of childhood. Many people reflect on what might have been and think of a point in their lives they would like to go back to, for Joel it was the summer of ’81. It is likely his friends would have picked the same time. 

It may have been the time the boys would have picked but not so their parents. The news on television was all doom and gloom. Unemployment had almost doubled over the last twelve months and rioting was happening everywhere. Even so, the village seemed impervious to the growing unrest all around. The village may have been locked in its own little time-warp but in many ways that was a good thing. It is ironic that political correctness which on the surface appears to be a good thing is in fact detrimental to the mindset of so many. It puts emphasis on differences instead of ignoring them. 

With his father away at sea and the summer holidays in full swing, Joel pestered his mother to have someone sleepover. In the end he wore her down and she said he could have someone stay at the weekend.
"Who do you want to come?" she asked.

When it came to a sleep-over Joel no longer cared if the other boys made fun of him for sleeping with a girl. She was nearly a boy in Joel's eyes. Besides he would soon be going to another school and soon wouldn't see his friends much at all.
"Can Jodie come and stay?" he asked.
"Who do you want to come and stay?" Joel's mother asked not sure she heard right.
"Jodie, a girl from school" the boy repeated and his mother was a little taken aback.
"You can't have a girl sleep over!" she said.
"Why not?" Joel asked wondering if his mother thought he was a sissy for wanting a girl to stay.
"Because she would have to share your bed" she said in a voice which suggested it was obvious.
"So?" Joel didn't understand.
"Soooo, girls don't like to sleep with boys, boys are smelly" Joel's mother said trying to avoid what she really thought.
"We can have a bath first" Joel suggested, further exasperating his mother who was adamant.
"The answer is no, now no one can stay for arguing" she said and the matter was closed.

Joel trudged off sulking, disappointed at the refusal. His mother’s reaction puzzled him.


There was little doubt the village boys were more in tune with nature than their 'townie' counterparts. It wasn't just having the countryside as their playground, they knew how to live off the land. Potatoes they dug by hand were put around the edges of the fire to cook, while pheasant, trout, or rabbits they caught were roasted on sticks. Their expertise didn't happen overnight and they made mistakes as they learned the ways of the wild. It didn't take them as long as would be imagined and not many adults could match the boys for their hunting or camping skills.

There was something about camping out away from civilization that made the boys feel alive and most important, independent. Unless a person has been in the wilderness and fended for himself it is incomprehensible the feeling such a simple pleasure affords. People are spoilt in today's modern world. Even camping has become more of a luxury with lamps, cooking stoves, air-beds, and various other accessories to make the experience more comfortable.

Okay the boys would be given sausages, tins of beans, and grandmother's rock cakes for sustenance, but in every other way it was back to basics. The woods were fine but camping on the beach was that little bit more special. Sea-food was so much easier to come by than pheasant or rabbits, and less painful than a pellet in the backside from Potter's air rifle. It was perfect, Mattie and Xander both had a four-man tent and Mattie knew of a place beyond the cliffs where the boys could camp in seclusion. He had camped there before with his father.

A couple of days later it was a rather subdued group who headed for the train station in silence. Alan had gone away with his parents to see relatives, but it was the loss of Nathan responsible for the grave mood. Nathan's downward spiral was gaining momentum and the knocks kept coming. His domineering step-father wouldn't allow the boy to camp out. The friends were angered watching Nathan pleading in tears to be allowed to go.
"You're not going" Nathan's step-father remonstrated then turned to the assembled boys "I know what you lot get up to, be off with yer!"

Joel gave the man a look of pure hatred. All the boys stood glaring at the man who seemed taken aback. They didn't approve of Nathan's treatment but could do nothing about it. The step-father ushered Nathan inside hurrying after him and slamming the door. The friends didn't move for a few seconds but gradually turned and walked away knowing protests would be futile and even detrimental to Nathan.

The long sandy beach on the outskirts of the seaside town attracted many visitors. A road ran the length of the beach before turning inland towards a golf course. The point where the road turned inland was generally as far as visitors to the beach went. Apart from cutting through the golf course and climbing over a couple of fences then walking over the top of the cliff, the only way to access where the boys were going was to trample across the rocks below when the tide was out. The group may have taken a train to the town, but still had to walk a good three or four miles to the chosen spot. It was worth the effort.

The new found wealth of some of the group did provide a few luxuries, but luxuries for the boys were geared up to play, not comfort. The boys bought inflatable beach balls, rings, beds, and the like. The friends were due to camp out for three nights. If there was a problem they were only the short train ride from home and most of the boys had money. That first day they were intent on making the most of the sea and having fun. Exploring could wait until they tired of playing in the surf. It was not something they tired of easily and the whole day was spent splashing about in the breaking waves.

The boys played with their inflatables on the main beach area where the tourists were. It was a little windy and they lost one inflatable bed, watching it cartwheel away over the sea. As the tide began to go out and the beach started to empty the boys made their way to the cliffs, still with a good walk ahead of them before reaching their campsite.

They had chosen not to gather sea-food the first day because there was plenty to cook with what was brought from home. When the tents were up and with the sun going down, the boys gathered driftwood and other combustible material to make a fire. They had enough for one night but knew they would have to go up behind the cliffs the next day to get more. Over a roaring fire they cooked sausages and beans, with rock cakes for dessert. It had been a long day and they chose not to go back into the water, it was still choppy and the wind was chilly in spite of it being summer. The clouds overhead looked threatening and the exhausted campers crawled inside their tents.

Even after the late night the boys were up at the crack of dawn and were rewarded with a beautiful day. The wind had dropped and the sea was calm. Joel, Ashley, Jamie, and Scott went to buy some breakfast from the shops in town as they had the most money. It was a long walk but worth the trip. The boys might be eating healthy when the tide went out, but biscuits, chocolate, and fizzy drinks, were on the menu this morning. The tide had come in and the boys had to take a detour up a trail that led to the cliff top, then through the golf course. Mattie, Xander, Jodie, and Terry went part of the way and set about gathering firewood for the evening. From the top of the cliffs the boys watched the fishing boats going out on the top of the tide. They would be back late in the afternoon and the boys would be there to meet them.
"Get me a whiting!" Ashley shouted at the top of his voice and the others laughed.

Whiting was the fish of choice. The fishermen wouldn't part with cod, and herring and mackerel were very boney, though they were good for cooking on a stick over the camp fire. It gave them a smokey taste the boys loved.
"Get me a crab!" Scott shouted cupping his hands around his mouth.
"Get me a lobster!" Joel shouted and the boys laughed again.

Of course the fishermen couldn't hear them but it was good fun anyway. The boys hurried on, the thought of sea food reminding them they were hungry. It was fortunate the shopping list was simple because it was deceptively early being summer, and the only shop they found open was a newsagent. The boys bought their rations and hurried back eager to divide the spoils. Each boy would have two bars of chocolate, half a packet of biscuits, and a fizzy drink. Ashley wanted his straight away but Jamie and Joel overruled him saying it wasn't fair on the others who were gathering firewood.

Sat on the sandy beach munching away, the friends imagined themselves as castaways, explorers, or pirates marooned on a desert island. The others had been fortunate enough to find a dead tree blown down during a storm and gathered plenty of wood. They resisted the urge to make a fire knowing they would need as much as possible to cook with, and for warmth when the sun went down.

Instead of going back to the main beach area which was a long unnecessary walk, the boys chose to play and swim where they were. Later they would gather cockles and mussels when the tide went out. Mussels were most prized. Cockles needed to be put in fresh water overnight to purge themselves and spit out the sand, otherwise they tasted gritty. With fresh water precious for cooking any crabs the boys scrounged, it couldn't be wasted on cockles.

Mussels could be eaten alive and straight from the shell but the boys preferred to cook them. They didn't move or anything, and didn't even taste any different, it was just the thought of eating something alive. On a previous occasion Mattie had told the boys about eating them raw and demonstrated. The others tried a raw one but decided to cook them from then on.

The day was perfect. Playing on their own secluded beach before chasing the tide out, picking up whatever treasures the sea cared to donate. It was precious little that was edible apart from the cockles and mussels. The mussels clung to a large rock formation that stuck up from the otherwise flat sea-bed. The boys only picked the biggest ones. As the tide ebbed the rocks thinned out and were replaced by a sandy bottom. It was there the boys found the cockles. They were barely covered by the sand and the boys raked them out with their fingers.

When the tide was on the rise again it was decided Scott, Ashley, Joel, and Jodie would greet the incoming fishing boats while the others went back to camp. They couldn't all go, the fishermen might get funny with so many kids hanging around. What if something happened and one got hurt. Fortunately the fishermen recognised the village boys from before and knew they were not tourist kids. Who knows, one or two might even become fishermen themselves. Scott and Ashley had been first choices because they were cheekiest, and consequently the best scroungers.

Joel earned his place with the legendary lobster but Jodie wasn't a popular choice. Jodie insisted on going and sparked a debate. It was starting to irk some of the boys. Jodie was only there because the boys had turned a blind eye to her gender, she had no right to make demands and had already disrupted the sleeping arrangements. Both Ashley and Jamie refused to share a tent with a girl, even if it was Jodie.
"It might be a good idea, they might give a girl more" Joel said trying to back Jodie up, but making it seem like good sense.

Jodie smiled and their eyes met. Joel found himself blushing and turned away before anyone noticed. 'What was that all about?' Joel chastised himself mentally. He couldn't understand why a single smile from Jodie made him go stupid. The boys finally agreed after Jamie said he was tired from going to town earlier. Jodie turned out to be a good choice. It seemed to sway the fishermen seeing a new face. The boys were well known to them by now. Perhaps it was because they hadn't seen the boys for a while, but the fishermen were easier to convince than usual, or maybe they were in high spirits after a good catch.
"Not seen owt of you lot lately" one of the men said as he picked out a crab for each of them.
"We're camping on the beach past the cliffs mister" Scott said taking his crab, barely able to stretch his fingers across its shell where it couldn't nip him.
"How long for?" a second fisherman asked.
"Three days" Ashley said proudly.
"Well you've got a crab each for supper then and if you come back tomorrow and go to my brother's boat, he'll have herring" the man said and the boys smiled.
"It's not one each" Jodie said sweetly with a hint of disappointment on her face and the fishermen look puzzled.
"How come?" the older man asked.
"Our four friends are back at camp" she explained.

The fisherman looked hard at Jodie but she met his gaze looking sweeter than candy. The man laughed and turned to get the kids another crab each for their friends. They were the smallest crabs of the catch but to the kids they were huge.
"Thanks mister!" they chorused and the way their faces lit up was enough reward for the fisherman.

The campers turned to go, a crab in each hand, legs still moving and claws trying to reach the fingers of their captors. Joel was open-jawed when he watched how easily Jodie used her 'sweetness' to win over the man. The boys would try begging the men into submission but Jodie just smiled sweetly. Was it instinctual in girls? It was the first time he saw the power they commanded but it wouldn't be the last.
"And boys......." the fisherman added seriously "....if I see you climbing on them cliffs again you'll get nowt..... from anyone!"

The boys looked to the ground shame-facedly. They knew how dangerous it was and what their parents would say.
"Yes mister" they chorused and the fisherman laughed again.
"Away wi' yer"

The kids walked past the people on the beach, everyone staring at their acquisitions. The younger kids looked at them almost in wonder when they saw the crabs were still alive.
"Look mummy, look" they'd say excitedly and point.

It made the campers feel special.

Back at the campsite their greeting was just as warm, nobody expected a crab each. It justified Jodie going and her long haul to acceptance by some of the boys was finally over. A fire was smouldering away waiting to be stoked up on their return. Jamie volunteered to cook the crabs and mussels while the others played in the sea, he really didn't like swimming much but the sea was the worst. The crabs and mussels would be cooked and stored in the tents to be eaten cold later. When the water they were boiled in cooled off, the cockles could be put in overnight to purge themselves. Fresh water was precious and none was wasted.

The boys lost another inflatable. They were cheap and poorly made. The thin material was never going to last long with the robust boys. Ashley had brought a football but they played football all the time at home and the boys wanted to be in the water. Later on they feasted on crab and mussels as they sat around the fire, poking it with sticks to watch the sparks rising into the night. Their bellies were full and all were contented.

Watching the sun going down and knowing they didn't have to go home felt liberating. At eleven years old the taste of independence and freedom was exhilarating. Being cut off from civilization was scary and exciting all in one go, but there was no doubt each and every one of them loved being there. Long into the night the boys chattered away. The day's events were discussed and retold flamboyantly. Even the simple task of collecting wood had importance and interest.

As it was getting dark the group looked up identifying the stars. Some knew more than others but without exception they all knew the North star.
"Look at that" Jodie said pointing at the sea.

The small white waves that broke on the shore were glowing a luminous blue / green in the moonlight. The boys stared in wonder. It ran the full length of the shoreline. Ashley and Scott went to the water's edge and the others watched. Ashley paddled in amongst the strange phenomenon, the others looked on thinking he was insane. They didn't know what caused the sea to glow and the first thing they thought of was jellyfish. Ashley waded in deeper and when he started washing the substance over his arms making them glow, Scott followed. They looked like something unearthly, but having come to no harm the others joined them in the water, rolling around and glowing like nuclear waste. It was surreal and something the boys talked about for years to come.

Jamie kept the fire going choosing not to join his friends. Joel looked back at him feeling a kind of pity. Jamie was reserved and frequently sat out on activities the others rushed headlong into. The boy wouldn't talk about his concerns, if he had any. Even Joel and Ashley had trouble getting him to open up, but they too were tight-lipped about the beatings at home and it is possible similar may have explained why Jamie was the way he was. Jamie was arguably the toughest of the boys and had to keep up this front, a barrier hiding his true feelings.

His friends came back to the fire shivering. They warmed up and talked about the strange event they had just witnessed and been a part of. As the night drew on, the fire died down. The boys were still damp, making even the gentle breeze feel chilly and they adjourned to their tents. They dried off properly inside, moonlight illuminating the tent through the thin material. Mattie fished out a dry pair of underpants to sleep in, but hesitated before slipping his swimming trunks off.
"You'll get a salt rash if you don't change" he advised.

The others changed and even though they were only silhouettes, Joel suddenly understood Jamie and Ashley's reluctance to share with Jodie. He felt self-conscious about being naked in front of a girl even though she couldn't possible see anything. Sometimes it was hard to think of Jodie as a boy and none was more conscious of this than Joel right now. He thought about Jodie and the smile that made him blush, still unable to make any sense of it all.

The quartet settled down, looking up at the roof of the tent. Joel drifted into a deep peaceful sleep, the like of which he would never experience again. The perfect day had ended with the perfect night.
"MORNING!!!" Mattie shouted at the top of his voice in what seemed like only seconds later.

His three friends stirred and Joel reluctantly opening his eyes. He silently cursed Mattie as Jodie and Scott rolled away from him, leaving a slight chill as their body heat was withdrawn. Although it felt like he was asleep only seconds the daylight outside told a different story.
"I was having an awesome dream but I can't remember it now" Joel said rubbing his eyes.
"How do you know it was awesome then?" Scott countered.
"I don't know... I just know" Mattie and Scott laughed at him.
"I do that all the time" Jodie said and Joel felt himself blushing again.

Luckily the others were getting dressed and didn't notice. Mattie's shout had woken the other tent as well.
"You snore like a pig!" Xander was heard saying to Ashley.
"Your feet smell" Ashley snorted.
"How could they, I was swimming all day"

A loud, not unfamiliar sound was heard and the boys looked for the origin. It was Jamie who couldn't help the lop-sided grin on his face. There was a brief pause as the noxious gas wafted to the nostrils of the others then a mass, and rather swift exodus was made from the tent. Ashley, Xander, and Terry dived from the tent holding their throats in exaggerated choking simulations.
"YOU STINK!!" Ashley shouted back at Jamie who could be heard chuckling inside the tent.
"It's all that crab" he offered in mitigation.

The others poked their heads out of their tent to see what all the commotion was about. It was easy to read the situation even without the stream of abuse Ashley and Xander hurled at Jamie. Not having had to put up with the smell themselves the others joined in with Jamie's laughter. Joel and Mattie built a fire whilst Ashley, Jamie, Scott, and Xander took the empty plastic bottles to fill with water. They used an outside tap at the golf club. Jodie and Terry set about tidying up the tents.
"Can't we get any eggs?" Mattie asked Joel.

Joel told him what the fisherman had said. The boys were faced with just cockles for breakfast and possibly just a herring for dinner.
"There's no fruit or veggies around here" Mattie moaned.
"We've still got loads of money left" Joel said.

The boys had healthy appetites and with all the stuff from home gone a crab or herring wasn't enough to feed them, even with mussels and cockles in between.
"Why don't you and Terry go into town and get some sausages?" Mattie suggested.

Involuntarily Joel's eyes went to Jodie who seemed to have the same thought.
"I'll go, I can carry more than Terry" Jodie put in quickly and Mattie looked up from poking the fire.
"Okay then, but don't be all day, and get some beans as well"

The pair hurried off before there was a change of mind. They chatted about what to buy and settled on sausages, beans, and potatoes. It would make a change for Joel to buy potatoes. The journey seemed brief as they were so wrapped up in conversation, mostly about what had happened so far. Jodie looked at Joel.
"Do you mind if I hold your hand?" she asked coyly.
"Course not" Joel said looking over his shoulder to make sure nobody could see, and also to hide from Jodie the fact he felt the heat in his cheeks again.

They walked hand in hand until they were close to civilization again, then Joel let go of Jodie's hand. That would be too embarrassing, being seen holding a girl's hand. Jodie turned to face him.
"Close your eyes" she said softly.
"What?" Joel said with a puzzled frown.

Jodie just looked into his eyes and he closed them obediently. The girl stepped forward and kissed Joel full on the lips. It was odd because Joel didn't like kissing. He was only ever kissed by his grandmother and aunts, and he had tried to avoid that for at least three years now. It was the same sort of kiss but it felt different. The kiss was brief and Jodie stepped back.
"You look like a tomato" she laughed.

Joel's face was now so red he thought he would burst a blood-vessel. They laughed and hurried off into the town.

Jodie and Joel had their first 'domestic' on the way back. Joel insisted on carrying both bags as he had watched his father do with his mother many times. It was the man's duty. Feminists would regard the boy as a budding male chauvinist pig and possibly with justification. Joel had observed the unwritten code since his eyes first opened. Men and women were different, each had their own skills. One of the 'man' things was fetching and carrying. It made sense, men were stronger.
"I only came to help because Terry is such a wuss" Jodie snorted.
"Two bags keep me balanced" Joel lied, the potatoes were okay for half a mile but were now getting heavy.
"The others will think I'm useless"
"You can have one bag when we get closer to camp and say you carried it all the way" Joel compromised.

Joel would like to have handed them both over right then but his stubborn pride wouldn't allow it. Jodie looked at him. Joel could feel her gaze but kept looking straight ahead. Was his face going red again? He didn't blush often but had blushed more times in two days than he had in five years.
"It wasn't the only reason I came" Jodie said softly.

He was definitely blushing now. Joel jabbered away, talking nervously about utter nonsense just to give himself time to think. He had never spoken to girls before, they made him feel uncomfortable. Until the kiss Joel hadn't felt awkward with Jodie because he treated her like a boy. Now he was feeling a different kind of uncomfortable. A nice uncomfortable. Joel put the bags down. When they rounded the corner they would be in sight of the camp.
"You can have one now" Joel said a little relieved.
"Thank you" Jodie said and wrapped her arms around the boy in gratitude.

The pair hugged and Joel had his head over Jodie's shoulder. She had a nice smell, it was different to boy smell, much nicer. 'The twins liked hugging people, maybe it was something to do with their hippie mum' Joel thought. Nobody else ever hugged him, not even his parents. It felt good. Jodie hugged tighter and as if coming out of a trance Joel jumped back quickly, his thoughts having blanked out the reality of the situation. He felt strange, he hoped Jodie hadn't noticed. Joel took up the heaviest bag.
"We better get back, we've been gone ages" he said trying to cover his embarrassment.

Jodie behaved like a boy and did what boys do, but it was becoming increasingly clear to Joel she wasn't a boy. A thought that worried and excited him. It didn't make sense, if he was becoming more aware Jodie is a girl then surely he should like her less, not more. Something just didn't add up for the confused eleven year old. It always seemed to happen that way for Joel, whenever he began to understand something a whole host of other questions would arise.

Back at the camp the boys ate heartily while they told of the previous days heroics for the umpteenth time.

The friends played beach football for a while. As the sun rose higher in the sky and the day warmed up, the boys blew up the inflatables to make the most of the appealing looking foam once again. It was quite incredible how simple pleasures occupied active minds, away from the corruptive influences of televisions and games consoles. So carried away were they, time flew past.

Around the camp fire's dying embers plans were made for the next day but they hadn't counted on the weather taking a turn for the worse. Jamie's mood back at the tents reflected the clouds that had slowly been gathering. The white fluffy clouds joined together and began to look threatening as the blue of the sky was replaced by an ominous grey.
"Well we've missed the fishing boats" Jamie pointed out grouchily.
"We forgot the time" Ashley shrugged.
"We've got some potatoes left" Joel said and the others nodded, potatoes would be fine.
"We've got no wood left for the fire"

Jamie had kept the fire going while they were swimming and needlessly used up all the wood. It was his fault and now he was complaining, but nobody said that to him. It was too late to gather more and the first spots of rain began to fall. The kids had an uncomfortable night as wind and rain lashed at the tents which dripped inside uncomfortably. Hardly any sleep was had and tempers frayed a little. It reminded the kids that camping for a short time might be fun, but exposure to the elements did have drawbacks. At least in the woods they were mostly sheltered by the trees. It was a relief when morning came and the kids headed off to the station. Never was a warm bed as appealing as right then.

The end of the holidays saw Joel foolishly glad he was going to boarding school, excited at the prospect of meeting new friends and having new experiences. Joel had no way of knowing what lay in store. Perhaps the worst way to ruin a person's life is when you are doing what you think is best. There was no doubt Joel's parents believed boarding school was the best thing for the boy. Joel had been happy at primary school with friends in abundance. Now Forester Grammar beckoned and happiness was soon to become a distant memory.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

ADC.05

5. Clipped Wings

'From freebird to caged parrot is not an easy transition. Those who have - from the egg - never experienced freedom may be better equipped to cope with restriction. What happens to them when they are eventually set free? The concern here is the opposite however. If a horse is tethered or a dog leashed for the first time they will rebel; if an animal is cornered and teased it will become wild and likely to bite!' - jp

Having passed his 11+ examination with the highest mark ever for the small Roman Catholic primary school, it was recommended Joel go to a school in a neighbouring town which was known as the best in the county. He never had a choice. All his friends went to other schools and when realisation set in, Joel was not happy. Being somewhat exclusive, the decision made by his parents to send Joel to Forester Grammar was purported to be in his best interests. It was to prove anything but.

Only a third of the school population were boarders and it was unusual for a boy to live close to the school and be a boarder. Joel was one of the very few. His problem was his mother working long hours and his father often away at sea. At eleven years old, he wasn't considered mature enough to organise himself, get his own breakfast, and actually go to school. So with as much fuss and ado as Joel dare display to his strict father, he protested the decision. It made no difference. The decision was made and that was the end of it. Although an intelligent man, Joel's father didn't have an education. At fourteen years old he was working down the coal mine while most of the men were at war. Joel was going to have a good education come hell or high water!

As Joel walked through the school's main gates, having trudged with his suitcase from the bus stop, he had no idea what to expect. The lack of boys in a similar position made Joel wonder if he had the right time and day. He had been the only boy on the bus. It was only when he drew close to the main gates and saw the bustle of activity, Joel realised it was indeed the right time and day.

It didn't mean anything to him at the time but Rolls Royce and Bentley cars were depositing the offspring of the wealthy at the gates, chauffeur assisted. Seeing the plush cars Joel was thankful he hadn't been given a lift to school. His father had recently bought his first car which was a beat up old Ford Anglia. Then Joel noticed the attire of his peers. Whilst Joel was wearing nine year old hand-me-downs from his brother, the other boys were all perfectly groomed and wearing the finest clothes.

In any other school it would have gone unnoticed, but the uniform had changed since Joel's brother was at Forester. In his day the trousers were grey, it was those trousers Joel now wore. He was the only one, everyone else had black trousers. Joel stuck out like a sore thumb.Thankfully three boys wore short trousers and were roundly ridiculed, Joel would be fine if he didn't draw attention to himself.

In his imagination the school gates could have been an entrance to an ancient Egyptian city, so high and vast were the walls around them. It was stark contrast to the small Catholic primary school where Joel began his education. Joel was filled with awe and suddenly felt small and insignificant. He walked through the gates where two third year boys loitered, watching the new arrivals. As he passed them they sniggered and made comments.

Joel didn't hear what was said or even know if it was directed at him, but immediately his hackles were raised. His natural reaction would have been to ask what their problem was but from being top-dog in primary school, he was now a faceless nobody. Joel was aware that he was in an alien environment and the initial excitement was replaced by a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. He held his tongue and carried on walking. The new boys were easy to spot because they looked nervy and confused. Joel mingled with them.

Eventually a prefect ushered the new boys towards their boarding house. Inside another prefect with a clipboard took names and barked directions. Joel was in a daze and didn't really listen, it was all too much to take in.
"Name?" the prefect demanded.
"Joel" he answered absently and the prefect ran his pencil down the list.
"Jacobs, Jenkins, Johnson, Jones .......Joel? There is no Joel on the list" the prefect said puzzled.
"No, Joel, Joel Phillips" Joel corrected.
"Well Joel-Joel Phillips, at Forester we are referred to by surnames only you moron, unless some other poor boy has the misfortune to share your surname, in which case you will be addressed by your initials" the prefect said somewhat harshly.

Joel was annoyed and tried to wind the prefect up.
"What if I had a twin brother called John? We would have the same surname AND the same initial" he asked flippantly.

It looked for a moment the prefect was going to hit Joel for being insolent. The prefect composed himself and barked out the instructions he had given a dozen times before. Joel still hadn't listened. As he was just about to ask again, another boy beat him to it. The prefect hurled a tirade of abuse at the poor unfortunate and Joel chose instead to follow the crowd rather than push the prefect further. Luckily, as new boys they were all in one of the two main dormitories and Joel guessed right. The boys were assigned beds and told to unpack their things then assemble in the main hall. There was a flurry of activity as the boys hurriedly unpacked their bags, nobody wanting to be left behind.

The assembly hall was huge compared to that of the Catholic school and it seemed all the older boys' attentions were turned towards the new boys. They were unceremoniously pushed to the front of the hall nearest the stage. The second years were behind, the third years behind them, and so on. There was a low inaudible murmur as boys re-acquainted themselves after the summer holidays. Only the new boys at the front were silent. Occasionally a second year would kick at the back of the knees of the younger boy in front, nearly making the victim fall over. The third time it happened to Joel he spun around and faced the boy, swearing at him. There was a shocked silence among the boys closest to Joel. He was fortunate no prefects were in earshot. Profanity was a caning offence. It took the boy by surprise and he didn't do it again.

When the teachers filtered onto the stage, a hush fell over the hall. Then the Headmaster came in. The teachers had chairs arranged in a crescent but the Headmaster had a small chunky wooden desk which was a survivor from the original school equipment now four centuries old. Only six teachers were present as they were resident in the school. They had been speaking amongst themselves until their silence signalled the entrance of the Headmaster.

The Head was an imposing looking man, his face stern and seemingly lacking in warmth. Clearing his throat he began to recite the Lord's Prayer and the rest of the assembly joined in with rehearsed precision. Being brought up a Catholic, Joel stopped when the prayer as he knew it finished, but the rest of the school carried on with the Church of England version '...for thine is the power, the glory, etc.'. It was the first time Joel had heard it and he was confused wondering how his peers knew these additional words.

As the Headmaster sat, so did the teachers behind him and then he addressed the assembly. He went on for a long time and his words didn't sink in. Joel was lost in the experience, somewhat awestruck. Various words filtered through as the Headmaster welcomed the new boys, expressed concerns about bullying, and announced targets and policies for the new school year ahead. He droned on in a monotone voice and Joel felt his eyelids getting heavy.

On completion of his rehearsed speech, the Headmaster turned and nodded to the music teacher who went to the large piano on the side of the stage. The whole assembly broke out with a rendition of Jerusalem. If the Lord's Prayer hadn't made Joel feel a little isolated, this certainly did. It seemed every boy assembled knew the words, yet Joel had never even heard the song. It wasn't among the hymns he sang in church, how come even the new boys were singing along?

The boys waited for the teachers to vacate the stage and then filtered out of the hall. Like sheep the new boys followed the procession back to the boarding houses. Joel noticed all but a few of the older boys veered off to the second boarding house. First to third years were assigned to the Lodge boarding house and fourth to upper sixth (7th years) occupied the Gatehouse.

Four upper sixth prefects were nominated Sheps (shepherds) and assigned to the Lodge. They were picked – allegedly – for their sensibilities and empathy. They 'shepherded' the new boys as they tried to adjust to boarding school life. For Joel it wouldn't be easy. The new boys were instructed to get showered before dressing for the main evening meal. It escaped their notice (or went unquestioned) only the new boys were undressing, under the watchful eye of a posse of second and third years.
"Come on, proles*, get moving, you haven't got all day" shouted one of the Sheps.

*Prole from Latin proletarius, a citizen of the lowest class. It was a term for first years but many older boys referred to younger ones as proles regardless of year.

With just towels wrapped around their waists, the boys were herded downstairs to the shower room. Joel noticed the prefects, who had their own rooms, were suddenly nowhere to be seen. This was to be common when certain initiations or punishments were about to take place. There was only one way into the shower room from the dormitory and the entrance was guarded by several older boys. As the proles hung up their towels, they were pushed unceremoniously into the quickly filling shower area. Joel wasn't at ease being naked in front of the older boys who were fully clothed. Not out of modesty, he sensed something wasn't right.

He moved to the far corner of the showers, out of the way of the older boys. It turned out to be a good decision. Pretty soon the showers were bulging with all eighteen of the new boys. There were only eight nozzles and the proles jostled for position, vying for one of the jets of hot water. Then the water was turned off. Chaos broke out as a succession of second and third years stepped forward and began pelting the shower occupants with flour and eggs.

The proles were all squeezed up tight against each other as those nearest the entrance tried to back away from the barrage. Joel was beginning to panic because he was stuck in the corner and becoming claustrophobic. At least he escaped the bombardment. As suddenly as it had begun, it stopped, and the water was turned back on. This time it was cold water and now boys were clambering over each other to get away from the icy jets. As the proles were allowed to vacate the showers, the older boys jeered:
"Welcome to Forester!"

This was a sign of what was to come. As proles or new boys, Joel and his peers were to be subjected to an assortment of torture and humiliation. It wasn't considered bullying because they were traditional initiation rituals – some as old as the school itself – which everybody had to endure, and a blind eye was turned with regard to such matters. The proles filtered back to the dormitories, a little shaken but not too distressed. Everything was happening so fast it was difficult to strike up a conversation, let alone form new friendships. Hurriedly the proles dressed and under supervision from the Sheps they made their way to the dining hall.

As boarders the boys arrived back at school three days earlier than the day-boys for a settling in period. It was a good arrangement for day-boys because it meant they had an extra three days off between term times. School lunches were for the whole school, but the breakfasts and dinners were solely for boarders. It was at the dinners another initiation was to take place. Grace was said as the boys all stood behind seats or benches according to status, then one of the Housemasters invited everyone to sit.

The meals – apart from breakfast – were three courses and although the boys could select however much they wanted, anything put onto plates had to be eaten. That first meal wasn't a problem for Joel because he was hungry, but when he rose to leave the hall two new boys were still sat at their tables with food in front of them.

On the way back to the lodge, the boy who had been assigned the bed next to Joel, walked with him. He formally introduced himself as 'Piper, William' and Joel wondered whether he should salute.
"What will happen to the two boys left behind?" Joel asked.
"Probably just washing up as it's their first day; but otherwise it would be the lash" Piper intimated.
"The lash for not eating your dinner? That sounds harsh"
"That's why it's best not to heap your plate up, they hate wasted food" Piper explained and Joel made a mental note, although he had never had a problem clearing his plate at home.

William Piper, or Willy as he somewhat aptly came to be known due to a physical anomaly which was the envy of his peers, was one of the few boys not referred to by his surname, except by teachers of course. The irony of his name was roundly appreciated by all but Willy himself. Young Piper was a good boy to know. He had an older brother at the school who was a valuable source of information. The 'lash' worried Joel, and his mind thought about his father's dreaded belt. It turned out to be what the boys called a beating off a teacher and Joel was not sure he should be happy hearing canes and slippers were used instead of leather belts. An occasional cuff round the ear was not uncommon either and one teacher was a positive genius when thinking up some quite innovative punishments. Thankfully prefects were no longer allowed to cane boys, rumoured to be on account of past abuse of their positions of trust.

With the boys at school all referring to each other by surname only (except in special cases), the whole school environment was austere and lacking warmth. Everything was so much friendlier at the Catholic school. Already Joel was beginning to regret going to Forester Grammar. He could be at home playing football with his friends right now.

Silly as it seems one of the worst things to Joel about the boarding house was the lack of a television set. It seemed like the boys were cut off from the outside world. They weren't allowed into town at all during the week (a rule many broke) and at weekends when they were allowed limited time in town, the boys had to wear school uniforms at all times. The uniforms for the first to third years had badges on their blazers and caps which had to be worn outside of the school grounds.

Those caps were hated but being caught not wearing them resulted in having to write pages (usually two) as a punishment. The main reason for despising the caps was because of the boys from the local Comprehensive school. They used to ridicule Forester boys and if they caught one alone, the least they would do is steal his cap and throw it into a stream, nettles, or even into traffic for it to be run over. It was such an incident that effectively started a 'war' between Forester Grammar and the local Comprehensive which was soon to escalate, due in no small part to Joel. From the fourth year on, long-tail suits and boater hats were the order, but unlike the first to third years, the fourth years onwards were generally proud of their uniform.

The town was fraught with danger. Particularly for younger Forester boys. A couple of teachers would patrol the town when there were breaks, just to ensure nobody broke the rules and slipped out. Sometimes it became a game of cat and mouse if the boys were spotted but not recognised. Often the teachers would wait by the gates for a return, but the boys knew a couple of different ways to get on and off the school premises undetected.

Boys from the local Comprehensive school often hunted the younger Forester boys and provoked fights, but only because the odds were always in their favour. Rarely would they face more than two or three Forester boys. Because Forester was a boys only school, pupils were all labelled as gay by the local boys. The slur hurt some of the Forester boys more than others and by consequence there was a latent homophobic element at the school which surfaced occasionally. Many thought the rumours of past atrocities committed by the Comprehensive boys were fabricated to stop illicit trips into town by the younger boys. One thing that was certain, was the animosity the local boys had towards their privileged counterparts.

As the end of Joel's first day at the school drew to a close, the proles were told to get ready for bed. Joel moaned to Willy about having to go to bed at 8:30 pm and was shocked when he was told it was usually 7:30 pm for first years, except it was Saturday tomorrow.
"Anyway, get some sleep; tomorrow is initiations day" Willy said.

Great! That was all Joel needed to hear.

* * * * *

"Hands off socks, shower blocks!" went the shout went repeatedly as Joel blearily opened his eyes on his first morning at Forester Grammar. It wasn't exactly what was said but near enough.

Joel climbed out of bed reluctantly. The proles in the main dormitory had to fold back the blankets on their beds exposing the sheets. It was not uncommon for new boys feeling insecure to have problems with the night-water and a prefect would check for stains. Joel was thankful he had finally put his own period of bed-wetting behind him. The boys peeled off their pyjamas and put towels around their waists. Somewhat cautiously they headed for the showers, armed with soap, toothbrushes, and toothpaste, the events of the previous day still fresh in mind. Word had filtered to all the proles this was to be initiations day.

With the second years accompanying them, the proles relaxed a little as they realised there would be no repeat of the shower incident of the day before. The proles had to wait patiently for the second years to vacate the showers before being allowed to shower themselves. Morning and evening showers were mandatory. In the morning it was always a rush because so many boys used the showers within a short space of time. By the time the proles were allowed to shower the water was usually tepid at best. In the evening there was no set time so choosing carefully meant hot water.

Joel picked his spot at the back of the shower but only went through the motions of washing. One eye was always on the entrance waiting for an attack. It never came. Eventually he realised the others were coming and going from the showers unmolested, and vacated them hurriedly. The other proles were just as skittish. They may have heard from siblings or other sources it was initiations day but most had no idea what was going to happen. That was the problem, not knowing what to expect, or when.
"When do the initiations start?" Joel asked Willy back in the dorm.
"Straight after breakfast" Willy said remarkably unconcerned.

Willy brought it home to Joel just how different things were at Forester. The boy was eleven years old, the same as Joel, but was mentally so much more mature. Nor was young Piper unique, the Forester boys seemed to have lost the ability to be children. Everything was so formal and the overall mood sombre.

Breakfast was uneventful but as the boys left the dining hall, the proles were shepherded down a detour which was to take them past the School Cadet Force assault course in a copse. The copse as well as being home to the assault course was the venue for a lot of skulduggery, giving the boys adequate cover for illicit activities as a scattering of cigarette butts showed. As the proles filed into the wooded area they were lined up by a gang of second year marshals. One prole was taken further into the course and out of view. A few minutes later another boy would be sent for. None came back.

The proles didn't know what was happening to their classmates and imaginations were running riot. A couple of the proles tried to sneak away but the marshals roughly man-handled them back into line. Joel's turn came and he took a deep breath.
"Come on we haven't got all day" a second year said and pushed him roughly in the back.

Joel spun round and glared at the older boy who for an instant looked uncertain.
"This one has pepper in his blood" he said to his associate.
"Listen prole, you take my advice and keep your attitude to yourself. I saw you in assembly and swearing at Harris will bring you nothing but misery" the older boy warned.

The trio approached the awaiting third years and Joel looked at the huge wooden frame-work which usually housed a large rope net as part of the assault course. There was a pulley at the top and a rope was running through it. Two boys held the rope at one end. The other end was attached to a wooden board (similar to a bosun's chair). The apparent leader of the group said:
"This is a test to see if you have balls"

Another boy stood on the wood and held the rope. The two boys holding the other end hauled him up by way of a demonstration. They took him right to the top. He looked perfectly at ease and was lowered back down. 'That's not bad' Joel thought. The swings in the woods at home were higher and far more precarious. It actually looked like fun and he was ushered onto the board without fuss. As Joel took his place one of the other third years produced a blindfold and covered his eyes.
"To see if you have balls, you do it blindfolded. Whatever you do don't let go. One prole let go a few years back and fell and broke his neck. Terrible shame" the boy in charge of proceedings told Joel.

It sounded to Joel much like the rumours surrounding Forbidden Wood, the pump-house, and other places around the village. He doubted they would still be allowed to do the initiation if a boy had broken his neck. Nevertheless, he held the rope tight as he felt himself being hauled up. The hauling motion was quite jerky. Joel would be hauled up in one motion but then felt the rope slip back slightly as the boys prepared for another heave. 'Must be near the top now' he thought and held the rope even tighter. The rope stopped moving and Joel wondered how long the boys would keep him at the top.

Suddenly Joel felt his trousers being yanked down in one swift motion. Still holding the rope tight with one hand Joel lifted the blindfold with the other. He was no more than three feet off the ground and the boys holding the rope let it go. The board dropped the three feet taking Joel by surprise and he crumpled in a heap on the ground. One of the boys laughed, pointing at Joel.
"Yes, this one has balls" he said.
"Not much of anything else though!" another added laughing.

They all guffawed at Joel's embarrassment. He pulled his trousers up amid the laughter and was sent on his way, continuing through the trees as the older boys sent for another victim.
"Pssst" Joel heard, then saw a boy hidden in the bushes.

The boy waved for Joel to join him. Joel was going to say something but the boy put a finger to his lips. He moved over to allow Joel to squat next to him and pointed through the leaves. From where the boys were hidden they could see the next prole being shown how the pulley worked. The boy in the bush was the prole whose turn was before Joel. Instead of moving on and returning to the boarding house he decided to hide and watch the others. His name was Mark Kramer and although Joel didn't know it then, he was to have a major influence on Joel's life at Forester.

The pair watched with mirth at the poor unfortunates who were now experiencing the same humiliation. The reactions varied quite considerably. It was deemed Joel had balls because he peered from under the blindfold thus letting go of the rope with one hand, and therefore displaying a certain amount of courage. Most of the boys just froze and kept holding the rope even though they were debagged. It didn't seem to register that they had to be near enough the ground for someone to pull their trousers down. A couple of boys even started crying.

It was over too soon for Joel. He was glad to find a boy with a sense of fun and willing to get up to a bit of mischief. A boy who still knew how to be a kid. They walked back to the Lodge wondering what else would happen this day. Joel's concerns over the initiations seemed unfounded, if that was the best they had to offer.

* * * * *

Saturdays at Forester school were a shock to the system. Unlike other schools the boys had to attend classes until noon on a Saturday and then in the afternoon they played other schools at sports. The autumn and winter terms were rugby and hockey, the spring/summer term was cricket and athletics. Much to Joel's chagrin Forester school didn't play football and the balls were in fact banned completely. All boarders who were not representing the school on a Saturday HAD to attend whichever sport was going on, and cheer for the school team. It was just a ploy to keep all the boarders within the school grounds for as long as possible on Saturdays.

Joel made friends quite easily as a rule but the boys he was now mixing with were different. They nearly all came from wealthy families and he was a misfit from the beginning. Kramer didn't seem to have the 'plum in the mouth' like the others and Joel liked him, but they were in different dormitories. Mark Kramer was regarded a rascal rather than villain, his cherubic features and natural charm made him popular from the beginning.

As the term hadn't yet begun, a hare and hounds style paper-chase was organised. This served a dual purpose because it was enacted over part of the school cross-country course. In addition to keeping the boys amused, it also familiarised them a little with the extent of the school grounds. On the downside, it introduced Joel to his nemesis. There were bullies in all years but the worst were usually those in the year directly above.

Joel hadn't yet identified or understood his differences but they were becoming more apparent with each passing minute. As the other boys changed into their stylish new whites, Joel pulled on his tight white football shorts and vest. It was the beginning of the eighties, when it was fashionable for top football players to wear tight fitting shorts, and would have gone unnoticed in any other school. It was what all the boys wore at his last school, the girls wore navy blue knickers and a vest. Although there were no audible comments, Joel was aware of the glances and sneering undercurrent. He cursed his parents for sending him to this school.

The hares were given a fifteen minute start then the rest of the boys gave chase en masse. As they left the school grounds via the far sports field they came to a large wood. On reaching the wood the hounds split into smaller chasing groups. Now Joel was in his element. He played similar games at home, albeit without the paper trail. Joel was with three other proles. Two were unenthusiastic and just followed like sheep. The other boy was Bobby Dean, and he was game. Joel took control of the little group immediately and Dean chipped in with helpful suggestions, the other two were just happy the decisions were out of their hands.

Noticing the paper trail heading off in one direction, Joel looked at the surrounding area and thought of where he would go were he one of the hares. Off to the left the ground rose sharply and he nodded to Dean to follow even though the pack headed after the paper trail. Joel noticed three second years that appeared to be watching them, but he paid no attention. Then the heavens opened up.

Even though the trees provided some cover, there was no way the boys could stay dry. Joel's decision to climb the muddy bank looked a bad one, their now sopping wet 'whites' soon had a thick coating of mud. The downpour turned out to be just a heavy shower but it had caused chaos among the chasing hounds as the trail became harder to follow. The paper trail was swallowed up by mud but it didn't matter to Joel's quartet, they weren't following it anyway.

After about ten minutes they stopped for a quick rest. They could no longer hear any calls from the hounds and believed themselves to be isolated. That was when Harris with cronies Tyrell and Stone came up behind them.
"What do we have here then?" Harris asked smirking.

Joel recognised him as the boy in assembly he swore at. Harris tripped Dean and he landed on his back in a muddy puddle. The second years laughed. As Dean tried to get up, Harris put his foot on the stricken boy's chest and pushed him back into the mud. Joel shoved Harris roughly. There were four proles and only three second years, Joel was convinced they could beat them if there was trouble. Unfortunately for Joel this wasn't the village, and the other boys lacked mettle. They just watched as Harris, face twisted with rage, turned his attention to Joel. The other two second years grabbed Joel's arms and Harris hit him hard in the stomach taking the wind from the boy. Joel grunted and swore defiantly at the older boys.
"You all heard that!" Harris said looking around "Profanity"

The other two second years nodded gravely.
"Punishable, if I'm not mistaken, by six of the best" Harris declared smugly poutting his face close to Joel's.

Still being held by the arms, Joel spat in his face. It wiped the smile away but Harris kicked out, catching Joel between the legs and doubling him over in agony.
"You disgusting little oik. Hold him to that tree!" Harris barked at Tyrell and Stone.

The cronies pulled Joel up tight against a tree stretching his arms around it, Harris broke off a thin branch from a bush nearby. Dean tried to interject and Harris lashed out with the improvised cane. It struck Dean's face just under the eye, leaving an angry red stripe. Harris turned back to Joel and lashed out hard with the switch. It stung but Joel barely flinched. This made Harris angrier and two more hits followed. Still Joel didn't react.

Harris hadn't reckoned with Joel's stubborn pride. He wasn't going to let the bully have the satisfaction of hearing him cry out in pain. To top it all, being hit with a switch by Harris was mild in comparison to the beatings off his father.
"Pull his shorts down" Harris ordered one of the other proles who froze.
"DO IT! Or so help me, you will be next"

Joel felt his shorts pulled down and struggled but Tyrell and Stone held him easily. Moments later there was a stinging sensation as the makeshift cane struck Joel's bare buttocks. It hurt like hell but Joel's refusal to yelp made Harris even more determined to make it happen.

The 'six of the best' became eight, nine, and ten in rapid succession as the bully's frustration boiled over into rage. Joel's head started to spin and he began to feel faint. His legs buckled but Joel's arms were still pulled tight against the tree, keeping him upright. Surprisingly it was Tyrell and Stone who saved Joel as they pointed out his buttocks were bleeding. Harris seemed to regain his composure. He grabbed Joel's jaw roughly.
"I have all year to deal with you prole, and believe me, I will" he said venomously.

As Harris let go of Joel's jaw the boy spat in his face a second time. He was slapped hard for his trouble, leaving red finger marks on his cheek. It was then voices were heard and a quick glance saw the hares heading towards them. They had doubled back to confuse the hounds and were unaware of the boys ahead of them. The second years hid behind trees and told the proles to go back the way they came. Joel kept looking back and saw the hares getting closer to where the second years were hidden. It added insult to injury knowing Harris and his pals would be credited with catching the hares.
"Everybody will think they caught them now" Joel moaned bitterly.

The proles trudged somewhat forlornly back to the Lodge, each step for Joel painful, his muddy shorts sticking to the open wounds on his rear. Dean was nursing an angry looking weal across his cheek.
"You idiot!" he said "Why did you antagonise them?"
"Me, antagonise THEM?!" Joel was incredulous, he had tried to stop them picking on Dean.
"Now they will never leave us alone" Dean complained "Don't ever talk to me again!"

The other two boys were silent throughout. On their return to the boarding house the proles were greeted by a sympathetic looking Shep. They were the first ones to return.
"Never mind chaps, looks like you gave it a good show" he soothed, having no idea of what had transpired.

The boys stepped into the showers still clothed so as to wash their whites at the same time. On vacating the shower, other boys began drifting back and came into the room. They had raced back to get a shower while the water was still hot. In one corner of the changing rooms was a small drying room. Joel was hanging his whites up to dry when one of the other boys spotted his buttocks.
"What the devil happened to you?" he asked.

Joel pretended not to hear and rushed away. Dean answered questions about the mark on his face by telling them a branch whipped back when rushing through the woods. Joel managed to dry himself and cover up before anyone else saw his injuries. He went to a toilet cubicle and closed the door. Twisting his body Joel tried to look at his buttocks and could just see some red marks. He saw the skin was broken in one place but it was more a graze than a cut. It was nothing to the damage his father's belt had done on occasion, it did sting though.

Even though Dean and Joel were circumspect about what happened, the other two boys who had been with them weren't. At lunch Joel noticed boys looking at him and whispering to each other. Joel winced in pain as he gingerly sat down with his plate of food. One of the Sheps was looking at him with interest. On the return to the Lodge Joel was called into the Shep's study. All four Sheps were in there. The head boy looked at Joel appraisingly.
"We have heard reports of a rather unsavoury incident and would like to hear your version of events"

Joel was instantly on his guard, he didn't know why he had been called in but imagined he had broken some stupid rule he was totally unaware of. Perhaps Harris had told the Sheps about his use of profanity, but he had already been punished for that. Joel knew he couldn't take another beating that day and was nervous.
"Wh-what have I done?" he asked.
"Nothing, you are not in any trouble; just tell us what happened"
"I don't know what you mean" Joel insisted.
"Very well" the Shep said and stood up.

He put a plain wooden chair next to Joel.
"Sit down"

As Joel sat he couldn't help wincing and it confirmed the story the Sheps had been told.
"Now do you want to tell us what happened?" the head boy asked.
"I fell over" Joel replied rather lamely.
"Whomsoever may have hurt you does not deserve your protection. I will ask one more time, what happened?"
"I fell over" Joel reiterated stubbornly.
"Very well" the Shep sighed "You need to see matron; Dixon here will take you"

The reactions of the Sheps surprised Joel, he thought he had gotten away lightly. He had guessed the 'punishment' meted out by Harris was unofficial but this was his first day proper at the school and everything was strange.

The matron was a kindly, elderly lady. She put some cream on Joel's backside and he was sent on his way escorted by Dixon. The matron gave disapproving looks to Dixon as they left and he shrugged as if to say 'what can I do?'. Outside the sun was breaking out again and it was warming up. Joel had been excused swimming which was currently being organised. He looked disappointed.
"I wouldn't worry, just more ritualistic torture of the proles" Dixon told him.

Joel didn't answer, still feeling a little sullen about the day's events. Dixon was trying his hardest to cheer Joel up. One thing Joel did like was when Dixon mentioned how much respect he commanded from the older boys for not snitching on Harris. Yes, he mentioned Harris by name! Everybody knew by then who had done what to whom, but without testimony from the victim, nothing could be done. Joel's upbringing didn't allow him to tell tales, which in the long run was fortunate. Other boys who snitched were ostracised by their peers, making it difficult to get victims of bullying to come forward. Joel on the other hand (in the eyes of most boys) was entitled to inform, due to the perceived severity of the incident.

At the pool Joel was a mere spectator and watched as the proles filed out first. Joel was relieved he had been excused when he saw the boys in their brand new swimming trunks. His were several years old and a little too small. Although relieved in one respect, he was also disappointed. Joel loved swimming and what he saw didn't look like ritualistic torture. Initially the proles had to complete a length of the pool. It was to find out if there were any new talents among them. Joel didn't mind missing that because although he could swim reasonably well, he certainly wasn't fast, or a star in the making.

What followed was right up his street though. A long wooden pole was dragged across the width of the pool. Armed with adapted kayak oars (the ends were wrapped with linen and taped up), the proles were sent onto the pole from either end with the intention of knocking each other into the water. As Joel watched round after round, he was upset knowing he would have done well. Each loser was eliminated and the victor went through to the next round. Joel was convinced he could have won although 'Carrots' Gallagher, the eventual winner of the first years, was no pushover. As the winner of his group Carrots was invited to compete with the second years as well. He was a big lad and could have passed for a third year or maybe even fourth. His shock of flame red hair cemented his nickname. Carrots won his first bout with ease and all the proles were cheering for him.

In the second round Carrots was paired against Harris and Joel smiled. Carrots had a significant height and weight advantage despite being a year younger. As the boys stepped out onto the pole all eyes were on them. Harris was a bully and certainly no wimp. He tried to intimidate Carrots with fierce facial expressions. Unfortunately for Harris, pulling faces wasn't at all intimidating to the big lumbering prole who stood before him. Carrots knocked him off balance with his first hit and Harris wobbled ominously on the pole. Carrots swung again catching the bully square on the side of the head. Harris went down hard, bouncing off the pole on his way into the water. As he climbed out of the pool spluttering, Harris saw Joel laughing and his face twisted malevolently.

A head shot was illegal and a rematch was ordered. Harris complained bitterly, saying Carrots should be disqualified. This would have normally been the case, but the Sheps knew by the grape-vine what Harris had done to Joel and were determined to make him suffer. Harris refused to take up his position on the pole and was himself disqualified. He skulked off to the changing rooms amid jeers for his apparent cowardice. Carrots lost in the next round but to the proles, he was already a hero.

Eventually a winner emerged and time was called for the first and second years. Joel would have loved to have gone up against Harris even though the bully was bigger, and somewhat dejectedly he returned to the Lodge as his peers went to the changing rooms.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

ADC.06

6. Unsettled

'It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change' - Charles Darwin

Joel had made an enemy in Harris. Instead of being appreciative that Joel never informed on him, Harris saw it as a sign he could do pretty much what he wanted. One day at school and already Joel was wishing he was home. Whoever described school-days as 'the happiest days of your lives' obviously never went to Forester Grammar.

One thing Forester Grammar didn't have was racism. The school was multi-cultural, which in 1981 was still quite rare in the area. Boarders came from such places as Swaziland, Singapore, Malta, and Brazil, to name but a few. They were mainly sons of ex-patriots who were abroad working. Many had taken wives in the countries of their work and their spoilt offspring were sent back to the mother country for a 'decent' education.

In the main, they were to Joel obnoxious brats, who seemed to enjoy the discomfort of others. It was to differing levels depending on the boy, Harris was off the scale. Joel didn't understand these boys may have abandonment issues just as he had when packed off to his grandmother. It had started a bout of bed-wetting for Joel, what must it be doing to these boys whose parents were in another country.

As with any group of people it is foolish to generalise. They weren't all brats, some had true hearts, but still they had issues. One such boy was 'Herman' Proctor. His name wasn't Herman he was just given that tag because he was born in Germany and the names rhymed. Herman would roll his eyes and mutter 'puerile' whenever some boy thought it funny to say 'Herman the German' out loud. He was the only boy other than Collins who had to retake his first year. There must have been something going on with Herman because he certainly didn't strike Joel as being stupid. His English was perfect but the accent was a little strange. Herman was quieter than most of the other boys which Joel put down to his being a year older and ergo more mature.

Largely ostracised by his former classmates because of his prolonged 'prole' status, Herman still had a number of friends in the second year and what's more, he wasn't afraid of Harris and his cronies. Joel was happy he had the bed next to him in the dormitory. Herman noticed Joel looking at him and nodded in acknowledgement.
"Something on your mind?" Herman asked.
"Are you really German?" Joel blurted out suddenly conscious he had been staring.

Herman went and sat on Joel's bed.
"It was awfully brave what you did" Herman said ignoring the question.
"Standing up to Harris?" Joel asked a little puzzled.
"No you clod, I meant it was brave not to inform on him"
"Or stupid" Joel said with a grin.
"No, stupid was standing up to him" Herman countered and Joel looked round sharply.

It wasn't what he wanted to hear but then he saw how hard Herman was trying to keep a straight face.
"You...." Joel began and Herman could hold back no longer.

Joel poked the laughing boy in the ribs and they rolled around the bed grappling. Herman was considerably bigger than Joel and consequently underestimated the strength of the boy from the village. Joel pinned Herman to the bed with relative ease.
"Look Phillips wants to kiss Herman!" a boy shouted.

It embarrassed Joel who was yet to understand these new boys. He always rough and tumbled with friends at home, everybody did. Herman just gave the boy a withered look and he turned away sheepishly.
"You think you're pretty tough don't you?" Herman asked curiously.
"No" Joel lied.

From the boys he had seen in his own year so far, Joel did think he was tough by comparison. These kids didn't seem very robust at all. Seeing a couple reduced to tears by the initiations was strange for Joel and the fuss his impromptu caning caused surpised the boy. It was rare to see any but the smallest kids in the village cry. Harris didn't worry Joel at all. He fancied his chances in a one on one.
"You would do best to keep away from Harris" Herman warned.
"I'm not scared of Harris, I could beat him" Joel snorted.
"Maybe you could but Harris likes to make sure the odds are in his favour"

* * * * *

That night after lights out, Joel was just starting to doze when three shadowy figures grabbed him roughly. He immediately recognised one of them as Harris. The other two boys turned Joel over pinning him to the bed, his face was pushed hard into the pillow so he couldn't make a noise. Joel struggled hard but the two older boys pinned him easily and his protests were muffled by the pillow. Just as Joel expected the worst, the two boys holding him released their grip. Herman had seen what was going on and sneaked over to Joel's bed. He hit Harris hard, high on the cheekbone, and the bully went down. Joel didn't see what had happened, but with the release of one arm, he lashed out as hard as he could. Tyrell went to the floor clutching his groin and moaning in pain.

The third assailant froze like a rabbit in headlights and looked like he wanted to run. The only light in the dormitory was moonlight through the thin curtains but there were enough windows to be able to make out what was going on. Harris rose and swore at Herman.

The lights came on. Dixon was stood by the light switch:
"Profanity Harris! Headmaster's study tomorrow after breakfast. Stone and Tyrell, verbal warnings. Get back to your rooms. Now!" he ordered.

The three second years moved quickly, not wanting to incur the further wrath of the Shep, Tyrell and Stone happy Harris had been singled out. Minor infractions – like being out of bed after lights out – were dealt with by a three strikes system. First offence was a verbal warning, second was a written warning (only the writing was two pages and done by the miscreant), and then it was a trip to the Headmaster's study.

Joel's had been saved a beating but it was another mark against him as far as Harris was concerned. The boys all settled down again but Joel could hear a few whispers in spite of the way the beds were situated. It irritated Joel who imagined most had seen Harris and the others grab him, yet feigned sleep rather than get involved. If everybody had told the three bullies to stop they would have had no choice. Joel was thankful Herman wasn't so spineless.

Some alliances had already begun to form and Kramer came to see Joel the next morning. He had been friendly the previous day at the assault course and Joel welcomed his attention. Kramer with his natural charm had begun encouraging selected boys into forming a gang of sorts. He had already recruited several including Carrots. Kramer may have been small but he was a natural leader.

Kramer just generally chatted to Joel, some hinting at what he was doing was completely overlooked at the time though made perfect sense soon after. In Joel's naivety he hadn't realised boys his age could be so calculating in a malevolent way. The village boys were more up front and straight-talking. They couldn't even spell subterfuge. Kramer knew exactly what he was doing but Joel was oblivious to the surreptitious recruitment method. When he didn't make the right noises Kramer went away.

Reasons for Joel being isolated from his peers were adding up. He was working class, spoke differently, wore inferior clothing, and was to all intents and purposes a loose cannon. In addition Joel had antagonised the worst bully. Boys weren't exactly queuing up to be Joel's friend, perhaps he should have been more receptive with Kramer.

Breakfast was as it usually was, swift and without incident. There was never a failure to clear a plate at breakfast. The boys were filtering out of the dining hall when Joel saw Harris being led away by Dixon to the Headmaster's study.
"Hope the ass gets ten like he gave me!" Joel shouted so they could hear.

Dixon looked back and winked. Joel was yet to find out how hard the Headmaster hit; in retrospect it was foolish hoping it was very hard.

* * * * *

In the main kids are resilient and adaptable but there are just some situations impossible to adjust to. A sudden wrench from the familiar can be traumatic and difficult to adjust to. It felt very much like Joel had been dumped in a foreign country with no knowledge of the language. Time should eventually enable settling in but co-operation of locals is necessary. What chance is there to learn a new language if nobody will speak to you. It wasn't that they all hated Joel, just that being his friend would bring them under scrutiny. Thankfully Herman didn't seem to care what others thought.

On Sunday mornings, the boys had to go to chapel, unless their religion was other than Church of England. Joel being Catholic could have been excused but he was glad he never said anything. The chapel was in town and it was good to get out of the school grounds. It was also a chance to sneak away for an hour. Those that didn't go to chapel had to sit in the school library until the service was over.

Joel saw Harris and although the bully didn't say anything, he was looking daggers. Joel hoped his bum was sore. The small scab on Joel's own buttocks came off as he sat in chapel and he could feel the wound seeping, making a sticky patch in his underpants. Joel foolishly went to see matron on returning to school. He was expecting to have some more cream applied but matron took out a bottle of liquid instead. Joel lay face down on the table with his buttocks exposed.
"This may sting a little" matron warned.
"Yikes!!" Joel howled, it was more than a little.

Joel gritted his teeth and grimaced as more of the liquid was applied. It reminded him of the anti-septic liquid his mother used. Matron let the wounded area dry out for a few minutes before applying a dressing.
"You are very brave" she said and Joel almost told the kindly lady he was quite used to it by now, but thought better of it.

After seeing matron, it was just about time for lunch and Joel headed to the dining hall instead of back to the boarding house. Harris and his cronies had heard Joel tell Herman he was going to see matron and were laying in wait. As he rounded the corner to the quad Tyrell and Stone took hold of Joel's arms. Harris grabbed his lapels almost lifting him off the ground.
"I took six strokes because of you prole" Harris hissed.
"Hope it hurt, you ass!" Joel snarled with more bravery than he felt.

Joel was hit hard in the stomach and doubled over with a groan. Harris grabbed his hair and pulled his head back roughly.
"In a week, everybody will have forgotten about your rear, but I will never forget your impertinence" Harris said menacingly.

A deep anger was building up inside Joel and he wanted to lash out but knew it would have been folly. Herman helped Joel once but it was no guarantee he would help again. Piper was friendly enough but didn't seem the type to fight. Joel was all alone. He wanted to fight Harris but knew Tyrell and Stone would join in. On his knees Joel held his stomach grimacing as the bullies went away laughing. Herman sat next to Joel at lunch.
"I'm going to town this afternoon" he whispered.
"I'll go with you if you want" Joel whispered back almost inaudibly.
"SILENCE!" bellowed a prefect who heard the whispering, there was no talking at meals.

* * * * *

Sunday afternoon was the only opportunity for the boys to get out of the school grounds for any amount of time. They were allowed in town between lunch and dinner. Joel was excited. All he had seen of the town was when carrying his bag from the bus station. Already Joel was itching to get away from the school he had been at less than forty-eight hours. The walk to chapel had lit the fuse now he wanted to explore. It felt so good to be out of the school and away from his peers. For one mad moment Joel considered walking home and pleading with his parents not to be sent back, but realised the futility of such a deed. The marks on his butt were nothing compared to the ones his father's belt would make.

Herman kept pointing at girls and whispering lewd comments. Joel tried to feign interest but wondered why Herman was so obsessed with them. Herman was a year older but Joel couldn't see that as a reason. Although only about thirteen years old, the girls were too old even for Herman, and they just smiled condescendingly. The girls were wearing school uniforms as well. They were from a girls only preparatory school situated on the other side of the town. It catered for girls from five to thirteen years old and in the past some of the girls had been known to rendezvous with Forester boys. They usually went for the older boys though.
"Last year some of us sneaked into their school and went swimming in their pool" Herman confided.
"Isn't that dangerous? I mean for getting caught" Joel asked, curious at the revelation.
"No, the pool is right away from the buildings and we used to sneak out after dinner on Saturdays, as long as we were back before eight o clock it was okay" Herman explained.
"Why didn't you use our pool?" Joel asked puzzled.
"Our pool is covered over this term until after Easter and anyway their pool is smaller and the water is warmer"
"I wouldn't mind going. I missed out on the pool yesterday" Joel hinted.

He wasn't that bothered really, Joel just wanted to try and cement a friendship with Herman. Herman had helped against Harris and was one of the few who didn't judge Joel by his accent and clothes.
"We can have a look next weekend if you like, I'm sure Collins would come with us" Herman suggested.
"Great!" Joel said but was suddenly a little unsure and hoped it would rain or something.

Joel didn't mind Herman but he had little trust in the other boys. The snide remarks had begun and seemed to be gaining impetus. The boys walked around the town and along the river bank, it was heaven. At one point a couple of local boys shouted some abuse. Joel stuck two fingers up to them and they stayed their distance.
"What's their problem?" Joel asked.
"Local oiks, they hate us"

Looking at the departing boys Joel couldn't help thinking he would probably relate better to them than his peers at school. He wondered if he could make friends with some of the local boys, if they hated Forester boys they couldn't be that bad. Time flew and the boys found themselves heading back to school. Once more the gloom began to set in. They just had time to get changed for dinner.

Harris made threatening gestures every time he saw Joel, from a safe distance of course. It was a pain for Joel having always to be aware of ambush. He feared showers the most, expecting to be seized at any time by Harris. After seeing his apparent cowardice against Carrots, Joel knew he wouldn't come alone. Waiting until Herman went to the showers Joel quickly followed. It didn't guarantee safety but Herman's presence might be enough to make the bullies think twice. Joel felt more vulnerable naked.

Harris was on his mind constantly. Tomorrow was the start of the school year proper, maybe Harris would find another victim among the day-boy proles. At the very least the boarder proles were to see how the day-boys were to be initiated with impunity. Joel felt ashamed of his feelings. He hoped another boy would get bullied instead of him? It was easy to see why others turned away when seeing injustice.

Back in the common room, boys were signing up for extra-curricular activities. There were different kinds of things and Joel was leaning towards photography, but Herman said orienteering was far better and a lot of it was out of school grounds. That swung it for Joel. The master taking the names for the activities was dubbed 'Dinosaur' on account of him teaching History (he was also the first and second year rugby coach). The teacher looked up at Joel smiling pleasantly. It would be a long time before Joel saw his face looking so benevolent again. Dinosaur seemed to give Joel a mental appraisal.
"Orienteering please Sir" Joel said as Herman had suggested.

Dinosaur ticked a box against Joel's name and said no more. It was as if Joel had just vanished.
"Photography again this year, Proctor?" Dinosaur said already ticking the box.
"No sir, I want orienteering as well please" Herman said somewhat timidly.

Dinosaur looked back at Joel as if there was a conspiracy afoot. Joel was puzzled because Herman had deliberately steered him towards orienteering when his first thought was photography. Now Joel finds out Herman did photography last year. Dinosaur looked at Herman somewhat sternly.
"You know we could do with you Proctor, and you would have second year status of course" Dinosaur said in a tone which suggested he wouldn't take no for an answer.
"I did so want to do orienteering, sir" Herman said in almost a whine.

When he met Dinosaur's fixed gaze, he buckled and head down, Herman meekly agreed to photography. Joel was angry with Herman. How could he do that. Joel complained bitterly but Herman just shrugged and turned away.
"Just leave me alone" Herman said petulantly and stormed off.

Later Herman apologised to Joel saying he had no choice or Dinosaur would have made his life intolerable. It was all a little confusing. Joel thought it outrageous how Herman could be pressured into taking an activity when he wanted to do something else. It wasn't fair! Rough around the edges they may be but the villagers prided themselves on fair play. There seemed little of it in evidence at Forester so far.

The next morning Herman was still a bit off. Remarkably Joel actually felt quite happy in other respects and was one of the first to the showers. Stuff Harris! Joel wasn't going to live in fear of him. Nothing happened and Joel remained upbeat. The day-boys would be arriving after breakfast and Joel ate heartily. Herman chilled out a bit after breakfast and led Joel to the main gates to watch the influx of day-boy proles. They were so easy to identify from the other day-boys just by their nervous manner. It felt good. Here Joel was, a seasoned pro of all of three days, and already regarding the new boys in a patronising way.

The whole school filled up the main hall and it looked packed compared to when it was just the boarders. In the usual manner the teachers filtered in before the hall fell silent at the Headmaster's arrival. A nod to the music teacher and once again the school rang out to Jerusalem. The whole atmosphere felt surreal to Joel but it gave him a kind of lift, even though he felt out of place.

After assembly the boys went to their classrooms. The first years had two classrooms situated close to the assembly hall and a teacher stood outside each, taking names. Joel was in Dinosaur's class. He would be Joel's form teacher for the year. Dinosaur was all smiles as he greeted the boys, until he saw Joel. He snorted as he indicated Joel was to join the others in his class. Joel was at a loss to see how he had annoyed the teacher but he knew their paths would collide. It wasn't even as though Joel could get away from him. Dinosaur was his Housemaster, History teacher, and the first and second year rugby coach. Joel didn't realise it at the time but Dinosaur was to be just as much his tormentor as Harris.

Whispers went round the school during morning break and it was obvious to the proles they were the objects of interest. They were hanging around in several large groups believing there to be safety in numbers. For now they were safe. There was not enough time for anything to happen during morning break and as patient as vultures, the second years waited for the one hour lunch break. Initiations were different for the day-boy proles. The boarders had no escape but with the day-boys, the thrill was in the chase. Should any be fortunate enough to escape the clutches of the pursuing second years for the duration of the lunch hour, they would be spared the torture.

Initiating the day-boy proles could take on a variety forms. Most common was 'poling'. There were several upright poles throughout the school buildings, any boy captured would be carried horizontal to one. His legs were pulled apart and he was rammed into the pole. This have been dangerous but wasn't as bad as it sounds as the impact was almost always on the butt-bone. It was like getting kicked. Wedgies were extreme and would always result in ripped or ruined underwear, although they had yet to be given that name.

The final method of initiating a prole amused Joel. Faeces face – The prole would be held down by several boys so he was unable to move. A nominated second year would drop his trousers and wipe his bare bum on the prole's face. There was no actual physical harm it was just the humiliation. Although Joel found it funny in the extreme to watch, he doubted it would be so funny being on the receiving end. Joel didn't mind really, it was initiations and they only had to go through them once.

Joel's conscience allowed him to laugh at the faeces faces because it wasn't a case of one boy being singled out, the majority of day-boys had been on the receiving end. The boarder proles watched in mild amusement as day-boy proles ran hither and thither trying to escape the second years.  It was then Joel saw a boy getting poled. Nothing unusual except his tormentors were Harris and friends. This was strictly against the school code because they were boarders. Only day-boys could initiate day-boy proles, just as only boarders initiated boarder proles. Harris just couldn't resist the opportunity to be mean.

He hadn't seen Joel watching him. Harris had an evil look on his face as he took great delight in the suffering of others. Joel disliked Harris in the same way he disliked Jake but realised there was a world of difference between the two. Seeing another prole reduced to tears by Harris being excessive, Joel turned away. He felt he should do something but was powerless to intervene as Harris and his cronies lined up another prole for a poling. His time would come.

The first day in all lessons was generally for introductions and the handing out of books. It was all quite exciting. The unblemished work books with crisp new pages Joel always found pleasing. His differences once more came to the fore when Joel plucked a biro and pencil from his pocket, putting them neatly on his desk beside his new book.
"What the devil are you doing with that? Boy!" the Geography teacher shouted in a booming voice, the 'Boy' sounding as if it should be connected to the first sentence but trailed behind for emphasis.

The teacher marched up to Joel's desk, snatched the offending biro, and snapped it in half. He deposited the two halves in the bin as he strode back to the front of the class. A ripple of giggles from the other boys were stifled in one word.
"SILENCE!" boomed the teacher as Herman handed Joel a spare fountain pen.

Biros, like soccer balls, were banned from Forester school. The boys had to write in fountain pen or pencil. After Herman explained this Joel noticed for the first time some boys had gold-plated fountain pens – usually engraved – which were a form of status symbol. Joel's parents thoughtfully providing him with a biro, had driven yet another stake into a heart wishing to be at a real school, with real friends.

The rest of the day passed without any further embarrassment but if there were any doubts about Joel coming into conflict with Dinosaur, they were dispelled by the end of that first day. Everybody had to be marked out at the end of school. The boys had to return to their form rooms and the form teacher would take the register again to make sure nobody had sneaked off. The boys were waiting for Dinosaur to appear from his last class and the chairs were all put on top of the desks to make it easier for the caretaker to sweep up. As they waited "Buster' Greene, a big lumbering day-boy prole, approached Joel.
"You know when you cough you expel germs at thirty miles per hour" he said then promptly coughed into Joel's face from barely a foot away.

Joel hit the bigger boy hard and he fell back knocking a desk and chair over. It had a domino effect as a whole row of desks and chairs tumbled over. Dinosaur had just rounded the corner to see Joel punch Buster and the ensuing chaos. The desks and chairs were picked up and registration taken. Joel was told to remain behind when the other boys filtered out of the classroom. Dinosaur led Joel off to his study in silence. Joel noticed immediately the selection of canes in an umbrella holder.
"Bend over the chair boy" Dinosaur ordered.

Joel bent over, realising for the first time he was about to be caned. There didn't seem to be anything he could do and Joel braced himself. Dinosaur raised his arm and brought the cane down with a stinging lash.
"Ow!" he howled and bit his tongue.

As Joel's first caning he was thankful he only received four strokes. It was enough to take the scabs off and Joel felt the blood seeping into his briefs. All Joel's white briefs now had blood-stains that just wouldn't wash out. Changing for rugby, a day-boy noticed the stains.
"Look everyone Phillips has crapped himself"

Of course everybody laughed and some even believed it. The day-boys didn't know about what Harris had done. Otherwise the first week had gone on with no further mishaps and Joel had settled into the school routine. He was a 'good egg', according to the Sheps for not reporting Harris, but they would be gone soon and Joel's classmates weren't of the same opinion. Most were of the opinion Joel was an intrusive oik that simply had no place at Forester. Lessons were pretty mundane but the atmosphere was very formal and even coughing in class could bring the wrath of a teacher down on a boy. In spite of the strict regime, it was hard as a first year to get into too much trouble.

After the initial flurry of activity things quietened down a little. Joel found himself ill-equipped for the new school. Pens, rulers, slide rules, calculators, protractors, compasses, and all manner of wonderful things were produced from the briefcases of boys. All Joel had was a pencil, and the fountain pen Herman had given him. It was a little fortunate really because he didn't even have a briefcase and carrying his school equipment round in a plastic bag would have brought more derision regarding Joel's financial status. There were other differences as well. Almost every boy at Forester had some basic knowledge of languages and sciences, but the nuns at Joel's Catholic primary school just taught the three R's as they were termed, Reading, 'Riting and 'Rithmetic. It did put a question mark against Joel's reason for actually being at the school.

In his first week Joel had managed to get on the wrong side of two of the worst bullies and the teacher who had most influence over him. Already Joel was becoming increasingly isolated, it was only the beginning. With the term gaining momentum Joel's impoverished background was put to the back of his mind. The lessons were nothing like he was used to but he excelled in Maths. The village accent damaged his English a little but he was good at spelling. His best asset was his retentive memory which helped in many subjects. Joel's thirst for knowledge seemed unquenchable and he was curious about everything.

The boarders made up one third of the school and generally had the wealthiest parents. They were quick to brag about the wealth and assets of their parents. Joel wasn't ashamed of his background and readily told how his father had been a coal-miner and was now a merchant seaman. He was largely ridiculed. Joel's blood boiled and he wanted to lash out, but the jeers were so widespread he had to ignore them or fight everyone.
"No wonder he's so poor" Joel heard a boy say as he turned away.

Home life had prepared Joel well for adversity on the surface, but no longer did he have the privacy of his bedroom to shed his tears. Instead Joel got rid of his frustrations on the rugby field. It was rugby season and Joel was showing a lot of promise. His junior blue belt at judo enabled Joel to bring down a much bigger opponent whom many of the other boys were afraid to tackle. It was just a matter of using a boy's momentum against him and nothing brave. Joel's apparent fearlessness did impress his peers who little realised his enthusiasm was borne of anger directed towards them.

Herman became a little distant. Joel put it down to the influence of Dinosaur, he seemed to have a hold over the boy. Dinosaur coached the first and second years for rugby but his selections for the school team were based on personal favouritism not ability. As a result the teams were underachieving. Through the rugby Joel began to gradually claw his way back into Dinosaur's good books, but there was no such luck with the bullies. Joel had set out his stall from day one and bullies tend not to forgive nor forget.

Most of the boarders left Joel alone because of the incident with Harris, they knew he wasn't a push-over. To the day-boys he was fair game, especially as he hadn't begun his growth spurts and was smaller than average in stature. Joel wasn't the most imposing boy and ended up fighting on numerous occasions, before the boys began to realise it was a fruitless pursuit. Eventually they left him alone but not until he had visited Dinosaur's study on several occasions. Dinosaur always spoke to Joel nicely after the beating and he thought about joining the photography club next term just to get the teacher off his back.

Harris was a problem. It was all too easy to get Joel alone as he had no friends, and a constant game of cat and mouse was in play. Dixon was like a guardian angel and watched out for Joel. A couple of times he had suddenly appeared when Harris and his cronies had cornered Joel. Herman was still the best friend Joel had, even though they didn't speak so much now. He still stood beside Joel when Harris was prowling.

Maybe Joel have joined Kramer's little group but he didn't like the way they were with other boys. It bordered on bullying and Kramer himself was usually behind it. Joel thought how the boys of the village would soon quieten them down. Herman became even more subdued as the term wore on and Joel's over-riding memory of that first term was a feeling of loneliness. He had been separated from friends and family and thrust amongst three hundred boys, all seeming to hate him. Joel was homesick and feeling low, things weren't going to get any better. At least it would be Christmas soon meaning three weeks at home, with real friends, and normal people.

Joel felt very much like he was a square peg in a round hole. He had been looking forward to an all boys school, at eleven years old girls were still just a nuisance, apart from Jodie of course. These boys were strange though, nothing like any boy from the village.